faith before hope

So, let me start off by telling you that I'm a Christian (or I try to be). My main point being that I have a relationship with God. Okay that said since Coraline's birth my relationship as been just crazy somedays I feel like my life is great and I'm more than thankful and other days I let this whole “my child has Peters Anomaly “thing get the best of me and I blame God. I know, I know God did nothing wrong but I guess I just want blame on someone or I just want an answer for why? why us? Why Coraline? I know that sounds selfish and wrong but really sometimes I just scream at God. I feel like he had control over this and he didn't change it. Now before you start to judge me remember I am not saying any of my feelings or past thought is the truth or nor am I saying they were good. I have been in such a depression my armor has been down and I have been allowing all things, thought, and feeling take over my heart and mind. I think one of the hardest part of Coraline's condition is expressing how I feel because I don't want anyone to think that I don't love my child or crazy like that it's just sometimes I don't understand why she is going through this. The part that makes me mad is that she is just such a beautiful baby girl so sweet so pure and now she has such major things in her life at birth she was faced with more than I ever was. My point of this blog though is not to talk about how God as done us wrong or anything like that but more or less to tell you all that I'm getting through this I am starting to see things in a better way. God has given me faith and faith come before hope well at least that's what I'm told. God is bigger than Peters Anomaly. Hope is Now. Faith is Now. I have to stop filling my mind with all of this negative junk and allow God to work in my life and most of all in Coraline's life. I have to speak the truth in our lives that God can heal this! Hope is expecting something good to happen it's expecting change and expecting a break through.God doesn’t reward a negative attitude or self-pity or an “everybody owes me” attitude. Nor does He work through laziness or passivity. God works through faith, but we need to have faith before we can even have hope. God wants me to be prisoners of hope.So I’m giving up on negative thinking and I’m taking up a better mind-set and I’m going to have faith and lot's of hope. That God is who he says he is! That Coraline will have vision in her right eye! Most of all i want to show God that I am thankful for all he has done in my life, for letting me take care of Coraline for him, and for being by my side always :)