"Don't Complain:don't compare; don't covet someone Else's like, and don't spend your valuable time wishing things were different."
I have been feeling a lot of sadness and it was from every part of my life.
I would just sit and think "wow life would be so easy if Coraline eye was clear and we didn't have to go through this!" The truth is YES! it would be but that's not the life God as plan for us. I have to get this picture,this life that i have planned out of my head my life is much different. I am not sitting here complaining I'm telling a true story this is where i was not where I'm at this time and my point i guess is that i am learning to cope with the fact that life doesn't always happen like you would want them to sometimes God gives things to you and with his help you can handle it. When it comes to Coraline i know how blessed i am! Coraline was born to bring hope and change to this world! She is so full of life and she could bring a smile to any ones face. I understand that things could be worse and i think my real problem is that i fear Coraline will have this horrible life because of her eye , because she doesn't look like every other kid and she wont see with perfect vision. I hope to teach my daughter that beauty is something from within! Beauty come from a true relationship with Jesus Christ. I guess as a mother i have fears for my child just like any other person would. As i am saying this i feel as God is telling me that "I have to trust him. and i have to give Coraline to him! i have to let my fears go and teach my child that no person is the same and no person is perfect and God has given this to her because she is and will be a strong person." Now as tears fill my face i just want my daughter to know she is loved. Sometimes i feel like a crazy person for any of these negative thought because Coraline is just perfect in her own way!! She stole my heart in a second and does the same to pretty much anyone! She is beautiful and has two beautiful eyes that look nothing a like :) She is doing things just like any other baby and what other people say and think DOESN'T MATTER! Peters Anomaly is something that Coraline has but not who she is. WE are a strong family and can handle what comes our way.
I have to come to the point that I'm happy with the life i was given and not this perfect movie scene in my head even though more and more my life is becoming the life i always wanted! Funny how that happens. I don't want anyone to think that i HATE my life because i don't! I love my life and the people in it.. what I'm doing here is letting these feeling that overwhelm my heart out and sometimes there not the best and I'm sorry it's just the truth and that's who i want to be a real person because after all any mother who has a child who has Peters Anomaly or any other disability as this part of them who wonders what it where different? Now God as put in my heart that if my life were different, if Coraline had two big beautiful eyes full of vision it would not be the life that i love to live and she would not be the most amazing daughter who I'm deeply in love with!!!! So even though every now and then i get down about Coraline's eye it is what it is and God is by our side and i do trust and believe in the power of prayer and God healing her but at the end of the day if he doesn't if he knows better than us that this is the way life was meant to be i will love my child and to be very honest i do think i have the most beautiful baby girl i have ever seen. Coraline is only six months old and already she helping me to be a stronger person. She as help me grow and i am saying ,doing,thinking things i would have never thought. I want to teach Coraline that this is not a negative thing in her life and to rise up higher and to be stronger! Something tells me that Coraline will do just fine in life! I pray for her vision so that she can see this beautiful land God has made and for her beautiful heart( God has already given her) to stay beautiful. I pray God gives Nikki and myself strength to handle the things that come our way.
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