Do you remember that episode of "Everbody Loves Raymond" where Deborah has some time alone to herself and all she does is sit on the couch and cry? And Raymond spys on her from the living room window and freaks out when he sees her sitting on the couch in a puddle of her own tears?
She explains (although I know he didn't understand) that sometimes you "just cry about nothing".
You just need to cry.
Today, I'm Deborah.
For tons of reasons and no reason at all.
It's been a day where I could have sat down, turned on some Celine Dion and cried.
I find though, that each time I desire to show emotions of:
sadness, remorse, hurt or pain
I temper it with statements such as:
I have so much to be grateful for!
I am so blessed!
As if I'm not allowed to feel sadness or speak of it, since I am so blessed.
Unless everyone in the world is 100% happy, I have no right to feel less than perfect!
I have to get over that. I really do {and so do you}. I'm allowed to have a day where I just feel blah.
And maybe it is for a million reasons and maybe it is for no reason at all, but today is a "Deborah Day".
And I suppose the most disconcerting of all is....
I've been questioning if I am being used by the Lord. Am I doing any good....? Am I using my life for Him?
ARGH.
I can't believe I just wrote that.
On my blog.
{I suppose the cat is out of the bag.
I do, in fact, have feelings}.
Regardless of the WHY I am feeling blah, I just am.
And I need to recognize it, ask the Lord for His guidance
Move on.
Recognize, Pray and Move on.
Because a "blah" spirit is no way to live. The Lord offers me joy. Pure joy.
"A joyful heart is good medicine, But a broken spirit dries up the bones."
Proverbs 17:22
But still....
It's just been a "Deborah" kind of day.
{if you are having one, consider this a virtual hug}.
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